Not Everyone's Cup of Tea...

It's funny someone asked me the other day, about why it seems that I may not be connecting with people and they also shared that there were some who may have perceived me as being fake. On another occasion, someone else expressed the fact that I am overly confident and come off too sure of myself. It is no surprise to me at all that I am characterized by one extreme to the next. Such is life!

However, in my quiet time, I pondered on the varied interpretations presented to me and attempted to come to terms with the perceptions that many people have of me. I came up with some enthralling yet meaningful conclusions that encouraged me to focus on positives rather than the negatives of who people think or say that I am. Although, if their issues are legitimate, I have learned to put valid points before me and find ways I can address them so to become better. My daily goal is to be a better version of me each day.

Now back to my reflections regarding people perceptions of me.

One of the many things that stood out in my reflections is that one cannot please all of the people all of the time. Or the fact that I can't control someone's perception or opinion of me. Especially those who are not intimately involved in my life. To know someone, you would have to engage them, get up close and personal and find out how they tick. People are looking in from the outside and would size you up and pronounce spoken words and benedictions over your life. They would draw their conclusions about you without any consultation or evidence because they feel that one looks or acts a certain way. We have so many people who are experts on the feel, the look and the act of someone...that these people become judge and jury. 

So many of us look outside of us and ignore what is going on inside of us. We look to find fault in others and to criticize and to pull down someone who is simply just being who they are. 

Truth shot! Everyone has flaws and possess some idiosyncrasies. We all possess good and bad qualities that capture the whole essence of who we are as a person.

Here's the caution, we cannot accurately size up a person without getting to know that person. If your perception and conclusion are based on short encounters or what you see or hear...even through the grapevine you are guilty.

You are guilty of pre-judging someone unfairly. You also may have some heart issues. You may be envious or jealous of that individual. Or perhaps, you have not dealt with some personal trauma of your own. Sometimes, we have to do heart checks.

Ask yourself the question, Why would I think the worst of someone, I do not know? To sum up, a life that one only had an encounter for a short time is premature. No-one truly knows a person from a distance or at-a-glance.

In most recent years, I noticed people have gotten meaner, unkind and lack compassion for others. This toxic behaviour plays out so much more on social media a hundredfold more than in the real world. 

The hate and rejection are real. Many people have grown to be accusatory with no evidence and full facts. They will characterize an individual, spread their version of the truth and call it Gospel; even when their whole assessment is baseless and derived from false premises.

Over the years, I have grown and matured from the role of people-pleasing and changing up of who I am to get along with persons who just are not right for me. I forced countless friendships trying to connect with people, love people, build community and friendships with those who did not want to get to know who I am and to accept me. 

I have cried countless tears regarding personal rejection directed towards me; and misunderstandings and lies that were circulated about me...but the saying that says, "What does not kill you, makes you stronger?" is fitting and so true.

Words indeed hurt. The rejection by others dealt hard blows to my emotional state. I was wounded for a time, but it did not kill me; it made me choose forgiveness. I learned hard lessons. One of those lessons was to understand that I would not be everyone's cup of tea and that it was fine...

It was fine to have a smaller circle of friends than a large one. I learned to appreciate the real ones in my life. The real true friendships that centred me, inspired and push me to be a better person. It is true the word that says, "Iron sharpens iron."

God has placed in our lives, real people, divine connections and associations that are there to shape us, support us, love us and encourage us. But for many of us, we look for groups, number, the likes, and those who are "lotioning" (Bahamian vernacular) us to the point where we feel we have arrived and more important than others.

We need to accept that not everyone will like us, love us, care for us and want to be around us. But concentrate and focus on those who care for you. These special people are the ones that we should cherish and treasure the time and moments with. I think for many of us we have spent a whole lot of wasted years and time trying to be liked and accepted by everyone. You don't have to do that anymore...just appreciate the God-inspired people in your life and let go...let flow!

Unveiled to Be Transformed

-Keisha