I GIVE UP!

I give up!  Yes, I am waving my white flag in surrender.

Here is the most significant revelation that God made me comprehend during this pandemic and that it is a need to give up. I know most of us would never say never or surrender...but I felt so much a tugging in my spirit to finally give up and yield.

This year, for many people, we had to learn to be still and take a time-out. A time-out that allowed us to connect to our Creator. Well, I did just that.

What I realized in these months of 2020 is that God controls my destiny. Not that I was not aware of this before, but before 2020 I was so hell-bent on going after what I wanted, rather than what He wanted for me. I was absorbed in chasing so many things and working on so many projects.  All along trying to get the world to notice me.  I wanted them to pay attention to who I am and the gifts I have and that I was someone to reckon with. I got caught up with social media, promoting myself to others and pushing my agenda and that of the world.

I had to take a step back and contemplate that God wants me for His purpose. He designed me to fulfil the role He has created for me.

The world system is built so much on competition, promotion and familiarity. This system promotes pride, vanity and self.  However, this is what appeals to us and peaks our desires.  We are often caught up in just wanting to be known, to be acclaimed and to be the centre of it it all. 

I craved it for such a long time...

I  compared and contrasted myself with others.  I wanted to do more than the average, wanting to do better than my counterparts and wanted to be on top (in my Tyra Banks voice).

2020 stopped me dead in my tracks.

When God wants your attention, he puts you on pause.

The world system is not God's system.

I had to reconcile my purpose in God. I had to be still and go back to God, my Creator.

I realize how draining it was to fight an oppressive and unfair system and environment which is opposed to the kingdom agenda of God.

The late Dr Myles Munroe taught so powerfully over the years about the kingdom, purpose and how we ought to be living and walking in our God-ordained purpose that ultimately leads us to our God-ordained destiny. 

I had to reflect over the words of being led by God, being sanctioned, ordained for His purpose and not my own.

At forty-five, I realize chasing dreams, opportunities, trying to gain clout, trying to be liked and accepted was where I was for so long. I still have dreams, but once my dreams are rooted in the purpose, will and the plan of God. That is what I want to chase after and pursue.

And this decision, through the writings of my blog is a clarion call to announce, I Give Up!

I give it all up! My aspirations, my hope, my dreams of becoming known, recognized or accomplished by this world system...I give it all up!

I am not going to feed my ego or get overwhelmed with self-pride.

I am burned out from all of that.

I am taking the remaining few months of 2020 to be still and know.

In the meantime, in my reflections and my time of surrender...I am intentionally asking God specific questions such as:

God, what is it that you would have me to do?

What words would you have me to speak or share?

Where do you want me to go?

What assignments would you have for me to complete?

What should I be focused on in my life?

What is next in my life?

I give up and I am completing surrendering.

Speak Lord! Your servant is listening!!!

Unveiled to be Transformed

-Keisha