Skip to main content

Live Free: Getting Rid of Toxic Connections

I hate to admit the obvious, but I am still learning how life, love and all things in between work. I must confess that I will forever be a life-long learner until the day I die.

One thing I've recently discovered for certain is that we are responsible for what we bring into our lives. We are responsible for the types of relationships we have and the people we are associated with.

I am aware of how toxic people can be and how we must truly guard our peace at all costs. The older you get, the more baggage you carry. Unfortunately, if the weight is not offloaded, it becomes heavier and heavier. You can then unload on an unwitting victim.

On this blog, I've often mentioned introspection and doing the work on yourself before you can help anyone else. However, for clarity and emphasis, you must prioritize your personal development and healing. This comes with the understanding and knowledge that some people are not your assignment and you are not required to help them improve.

Geesh! What is it with us humans? Especially, we as women, who love to take on projects and think we are Saint Joan-of-Arc. We are not called to be fixers, but we are called to live out our purpose.

Someone reading this needs to hear this word, "You are not GOD"!

I mean that, so it is worth repeating...YOU ARE NOT GOD!

I am telling myself daily that I have to stop trying to help.

I must stop trying to fix things; people, places, relationships, all of the above.

I must relinquish these missions that I get myself involved in, trying to accomplish some intrinsic satisfaction that I believe is for the greater good of mankind. It is my reasoning that begins with me making space for stuff that is not making space for me.

Recently, I found myself involved in trying to help a friend. I overextended myself and gave too much grace to someone who did not appreciate me.

I had to shine the light on this truth. That I attract hurt people, but that devil is a liar.

I used to attract hurt people.

Let me tell you this: being hurt can do a number on you, especially if you allow it to fester.

It will cause you to mistrust, become anxious, and even toxic with your words and reactions. Why?

If you are not dealing with your pain and, of course, the root of it, you will forever live in a spiral of toxic mess and project that onto whomever you meet.

There is nothing you can do to help someone who is caught in a toxic whirlpool of life. They would just keep spinning and spinning until they decided to get out of it.

People have to take personal responsibility for their actions. They must take personal responsibility for their physical, mental, and emotional well-being. All of these things matter when walking in complete wholeness and healing.

First, one must admit that they need help. They must have a desire to become better. They must consider the root of their life issues. All of these questions need answers. And these are the questions I am currently asking myself because there is so much more work to be done for me.

Beyond putting in the work, one must make mindful decisions to think about who they attract and how they treat others. Bottom line, we are responsible for the way people treat us as well as how we treat others.

Moreover, being mindful of our relationships is something that needs greater consideration as we mature in this life.

You cannot help anyone by hurting yourself.

In this dispensation of being woke, we need to be woke to the idea of safeguarding our mental and emotional space...no friendship or relationship is worth disrespect.

Do it now! Walk away from that mess!

Toxic connections are harmful to your future self. When you are involved in relationships that are more of a burden than an inspiration, you will easily be weighed down to the point of destroying yourself.

You deserve better than to allow toxicity to ruin the hope of a purposeful, whole and promising future.

For the next season of your life, focus on staying on track and maintaining a healthy mind, body, and spirit; you owe it to yourself to live freely.

Unveiled to Be Transformed

-Keisha


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Shattered but Seen: Finding Light Through the Cracks of Family Pain

  There are moments in life when everything feels like it’s unraveling at once. When grief doesn’t knock— …it kicks down the door. Lately, I’ve been living in one of those moments. Watching my sister slip into another relapse, my mother bound by the weight of severe depression, while my father, siblings, and even the grandchildren carry the silent burdens of what feels like a collapsing family. Everyone is hurting. Everyone is surviving. Barely. And the pain? It’s loud, but we’ve all learned to whisper about it. Help! My family is falling apart. The Reality Behind Closed Doors People see us smiling in public and assume we’re okay. But they don’t see the family truth behind locked doors. They don’t see how trauma ripples through generations like a virus. And we’ve all been infected. No one talks about the shame of watching a loved one relapse again. Or the helplessness of seeing your once-strong mother not be able to get out of bed. Or how numb the rest of us become just ...

Living with the End in Mind

Three weeks ago, I preached my very first eulogy—stepping in for my dad, who had to be rushed to the hospital. The message I shared came from his sermon notes, “Death Is Only a Shadow.” One verse that stood out to me during that message was from 1 Samuel 20:3 , where David said to Jonathan: “But truly, as the LORD lives and as your soul lives, there is but a step between me and death.” If I’m honest, 2025 has felt like a year marked by loss. Death has been moving through families and communities, hitting hard and often. I’ve attended more funerals this year than I can count. I’ve seen more “In Memory Of” posts and RIP tributes than I ever wanted to. I’ve cried tears of sorrow for loved ones and friends who are no longer here—people I can’t call, laugh with, or hug on this side of heaven. I’ve also carried the weight of others’ grief, feeling the sting of their pain. One thing is certain: we will all walk that road when our time comes. The real question is—are we living with the end...

An Open Letter to My Only Son...

Shared this post on my Facebook page and thought I'd just share with readers on my blog. Mother's Day has a way of causing people to reflect on life as we know it, the best thing about that day was to sit down and penned these words to my son. An Open Letter to My Son To My Only Son... I thought deep and hard about writing this letter on Mother's Day when it is a day where we celebrate all that is good about mothers.Truth is, son Mothers are not perfect, although we often pretend we are. Having you 18 years ago, I was not prepared for it at all. You came into this world without even a wince or cry, you stayed silent until I took you home and then you discovered your lungs, you let loosed on me and everything in your path, enormous shrilling sounds of a baby wanting attention. Dear Son... I learned as I went along, trying to figure out how a young mother at 21 could navigate her path with a baby in tow. I prayed for you long before you burst onto the s...