When grief doesn’t knock—
…it kicks down the door.
Lately, I’ve been living in one of those moments. Watching my sister slip into another relapse, my mother bound by the weight of severe depression, while my father, siblings, and even the grandchildren carry the silent burdens of what feels like a collapsing family.
Everyone is hurting. Everyone is surviving. Barely.
And the pain?
It’s loud, but we’ve all learned to whisper about it.
Help! My family is falling apart.
The Reality Behind Closed Doors
People see us smiling in public and assume we’re okay. But they don’t see the family truth behind locked doors. They don’t see how trauma ripples through generations like a virus. And we’ve all been infected.
No one talks about the shame of watching a loved one relapse again.
Or the helplessness of seeing your once-strong mother not be able to get out of bed.
Or how numb the rest of us become just trying to make it through the day.
I was once taught that healing comes when we bring things into the light. But light hurts when your eyes have been used to darkness.
Still, light is what we need.
And it starts with transparency and accountability.
Truth Heals—Even When It Hurts
We can’t keep pretending we're okay.
Church faces, Instagram filters, and nice clothes don’t fix a bleeding soul.
Scripture says in James 5:16,
“Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed…”
Healing begins when we speak truth—not just in prayer, but with each other.
That means admitting:
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I’m overwhelmed.
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I’m angry.
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I’m scared my family won’t make it.
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I don’t know how to help.
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I’m barely holding on myself.
God is not afraid of your honesty. He welcomes it. And so should we.
Here are a few things I’ve been learning in the middle of my current reality:
1. Don’t Suffer in Silence
Talk to a trusted friend, a counselor, or a support group. You were not meant to carry this alone. Even Jesus had Simon help Him carry the cross (Luke 23:26).
2. Seek Professional Help
Pray and get therapy. Jesus heals, and so do therapists. Don’t let the stigma stop you from getting real help.
3. Create a Safe Space for Feelings
Your home may be in chaos, but make one room or even one hour sacred. Light a candle, journal, worship, cry—whatever you need to do to release the pressure.
4. Set Boundaries
You can love your family and still set boundaries. It’s okay to say, “I can’t fix you, but I’ll stand by you as you get help.”
5. Feed Your Spirit
Let the Word breathe life into you. When everything feels broken, return to promises like:
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“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18
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“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” – Psalm 147:3
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“Behold, I make all things new.” – Revelation 21:5
From Survival to Restoration
It’s one thing to survive pain. It’s another to fight for restoration.
I’ve realized that healing isn’t just about “getting back to normal”—it’s about allowing God to rebuild what trauma tore apart. Not to hide the cracks, but to fill them with gold. That’s what the Japanese call kintsugi—the art of repairing broken pottery with precious metal, making it more beautiful than before.
That’s what God does with us.
We’re all cracked. We’re all grieving. But we are not forsaken.
You can feel the weight of it all and still choose hope.
You can see your family falling apart and still believe in restoration.
You can break—and still be beautiful.
Finally, to anyone reading this who's walking through grief, trauma, and family heartbreak,
I see you.
God sees you.
You’re not alone. You’re not weak. You’re not beyond help.
You’re just in the middle of the story.
Hold on.
Let the light in.
Healing is messy, but it’s coming.
XOXO,
Keisha
From Glory to Glory: Unveiled to Be Transformed
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