Ruins

You rebuild, You restore All that’s broken From the ruins You redeem, You return All that’s stolen From your children That’s what You do... Ruins-Maverick City Music

Heard a Maverick City Music song lately titled, "Ruins" and it simply floored me. 

In being fully transparent the last few weeks have been quite challenging emotionally and physically for me. I have had such highs and lows lately, feeling very much overwhelmed, out of place and pushed to my limit. 

Yes I know life throws curveballs and there will be good and bad days but I felt like I was in a familiar  place where I was breaking a part...breaking down, breaking away and going under.

The myriad of emotions that flooded me pushed me deeper into a low place. A place in which I have avoided for a while but the thing about life...it comes around full circle and sometimes gets to you. It reminds you that you are not super human but you are very much a flawed mortal.

I felt like I was under ruins. The song Ruins ministered to me because whenever I get low, I look up...I go high.

In this low place, I am consumed by my thoughts and overcome by the silence of the outside world...where for me, most people never show up for me...because I am always the one that shows up and is constantly giving and pouring out of myself. I often wonder if people care, do they see me...truly see me. Do they care enough to consider that I may need their presence, quality time, an encouraging word or a helping hand beyond their need for me to always be the one that reaches out and offer myself constantly for service.

Alas, I consider that this is my purpose or calling in life, to boldly give of myself, to pour out of myself and help others get ahead in life. Yet it seems fulfilling at times and then there are times where it is lonely and leaves a great void. I must admit it hurts in times when I feel like I am torn down and a part.

Yet, I am resilient. 

I have the tendency to stay above the fray and  have been strong enough to survive the worst of those bad days...and this is only through being connected to my eternal source of help...God is my Help! God is my Helper when no-one is around to notice my flailing, breaking a part and going under. I can boast of knowing that God is with me and I am not forgotten.  Even when I think he is far away he sends a song to remind me.

Under the ruins, I felt life leaving me, laughter dissipating, joy escaping and hope waning. I felt my back pinned to a wall and I felt lost and a bit afraid...but as I  hovered in that despicable space of emptiness and taunting fear...I remember that I have learned in times before, along the path of my journey to a deeper faith is that these times will come and that you can rise and conquer, when you look up to the hills for your help. (Psalm 121). Look to God and not at your present situation or wallow in your condition. 

I have a deeper assurance and a comfort in knowing that during the times I am under ruins...God rebuilds, revives, renews and restores all that is broken and fallen into ruins...He lifts me and I am totally grateful.

Ruins by Maverick City Music

I do not own any rights to this music is only used for healing purposes.

Unveiled to Transformed.

XOXO-Keisha