The Urge to Escape

SOMETIMES YOU GET THE URGE TO ESCAPE…

My thoughts have been haunting me as of late…

I have never had such an extreme desire to leave and start afresh somewhere far from the home.
Yes, the home I grew up in and absolutely love and adore…the Bahamas.

I would always say to people, I love the Bahamas but the Bahamas does not love me. I am so overwhelmed with the many problems we face in our country, by the lack of better governance, the lack of pride, the arrogance of elitist individuals that only care about themselves and those close to them. I often ask about human decency and having more of us willing to empower others to be better.

Our nation is in shambles it seems, in every area, education, governance, religious and we are just drifting closer to being a nation on the edge of the cliff, awaiting total annihilation and self destruction.
My heart hurts to see my country this way. I came home from school eager to make a difference to serve and serve I did. However, I also had a dream of becoming somebody great, standing on my own two feet, trying to get a piece of the Bahamian pie but found myself plunged into a culture that is unforgiving to those who are willing to give their all. My country has been a country of takers, exploiters and is guilty of marginalizing its citizens and keeping them below global standards of living, all because of greed, corruption and power.

10 years later after my return from school, I felt more stuck than ever and I have to place the blame squarely on my shoulders. I should have been more watchful over my life, less giving and more disciplined in every aspect of my life especially finances if I wanted any chance of the pie that is only there for those who seem to lie, cheat, steal and diligently sacrifice every fibre of themselves. I sacrificed for family, friends and others who I would have thought would have sacrificed in return for me. Boy, was I mistaken.

You should never cry over spilled milk, or wallow in self pity or excuses. Someone told me that regrets place you in a cycle of repeats, you can't move forward with regrets.

I guess I am venting and relenting that I just need to escape…perhaps this is a passing phase but truth is…this has been on my mind for awhile…in the meantime, I am in search mode, ready to take a leap of faith…

Unveiled to Be Transformed.
-Kei

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