The Urge to Escape

SOMETIMES YOU GET THE URGE TO ESCAPE…

My thoughts have been haunting me as of late…

I have never had such an extreme desire to leave and start afresh somewhere far from the home.
Yes, the home I grew up in and absolutely love and adore…the Bahamas.

I would always say to people, I love the Bahamas but the Bahamas does not love me. I am so overwhelmed with the many problems we face in our country, by the lack of better governance, the lack of pride, the arrogance of elitist individuals that only care about themselves and those close to them. I often ask about human decency and having more of us willing to empower others to be better.

Our nation is in shambles it seems, in every area, education, governance, religious and we are just drifting closer to being a nation on the edge of the cliff, awaiting total annihilation and self destruction.
My heart hurts to see my country this way. I came home from school eager to make a difference to serve and serve I did. However, I also had a dream of becoming somebody great, standing on my own two feet, trying to get a piece of the Bahamian pie but found myself plunged into a culture that is unforgiving to those who are willing to give their all. My country has been a country of takers, exploiters and is guilty of marginalizing its citizens and keeping them below global standards of living, all because of greed, corruption and power.

10 years later after my return from school, I felt more stuck than ever and I have to place the blame squarely on my shoulders. I should have been more watchful over my life, less giving and more disciplined in every aspect of my life especially finances if I wanted any chance of the pie that is only there for those who seem to lie, cheat, steal and diligently sacrifice every fibre of themselves. I sacrificed for family, friends and others who I would have thought would have sacrificed in return for me. Boy, was I mistaken.

You should never cry over spilled milk, or wallow in self pity or excuses. Someone told me that regrets place you in a cycle of repeats, you can't move forward with regrets.

I guess I am venting and relenting that I just need to escape…perhaps this is a passing phase but truth is…this has been on my mind for awhile…in the meantime, I am in search mode, ready to take a leap of faith…

Unveiled to Be Transformed.
-Kei

Comments

Shattered but Seen: Finding Light Through the Cracks of Family Pain

There are moments in life when everything feels like it’s unraveling at once. When grief doesn’t knock— …it kicks down the door. Lately, I’ve been living in one of those moments. Watching my sister slip into another relapse, my mother bound by the weight of severe depression, while my father, siblings, and even the grandchildren carry the silent burdens of what feels like a collapsing family. Everyone is hurting. Everyone is surviving. Barely. And the pain? It’s loud, but we’ve all learned to whisper about it. Help! My family is falling apart. The Reality Behind Closed Doors People see us smiling in public and assume we’re okay. But they don’t see the family truth behind locked doors. They don’t see how trauma ripples through generations like a virus. And we’ve all been infected. No one talks about the shame of watching a loved one relapse again. Or the helplessness of seeing your once-strong mother not be able to get out of bed. Or how numb the rest of us become just ...

An Open Letter to My Only Son...

Shared this post on my Facebook page and thought I'd just share with readers on my blog. Mother's Day has a way of causing people to reflect on life as we know it, the best thing about that day was to sit down and penned these words to my son. An Open Letter to My Son To My Only Son... I thought deep and hard about writing this letter on Mother's Day when it is a day where we celebrate all that is good about mothers.Truth is, son Mothers are not perfect, although we often pretend we are. Having you 18 years ago, I was not prepared for it at all. You came into this world without even a wince or cry, you stayed silent until I took you home and then you discovered your lungs, you let loosed on me and everything in your path, enormous shrilling sounds of a baby wanting attention. Dear Son... I learned as I went along, trying to figure out how a young mother at 21 could navigate her path with a baby in tow. I prayed for you long before you burst onto the s...

Living with the End in Mind

Three weeks ago, I preached my very first eulogy—stepping in for my dad, who had to be rushed to the hospital. The message I shared came from his sermon notes, “Death Is Only a Shadow.” One verse that stood out to me during that message was from 1 Samuel 20:3 , where David said to Jonathan: “But truly, as the LORD lives and as your soul lives, there is but a step between me and death.” If I’m honest, 2025 has felt like a year marked by loss. Death has been moving through families and communities, hitting hard and often. I’ve attended more funerals this year than I can count. I’ve seen more “In Memory Of” posts and RIP tributes than I ever wanted to. I’ve cried tears of sorrow for loved ones and friends who are no longer here—people I can’t call, laugh with, or hug on this side of heaven. I’ve also carried the weight of others’ grief, feeling the sting of their pain. One thing is certain: we will all walk that road when our time comes. The real question is—are we living with the end...

From Glory to Glory

Search This Blog